There is a long history of governments hiding sensitive technologies from their people -- 100+ mpg carburetors, anti-gravity "flying rubber," write-only memory, snotless babies -- to name a few. We at WOM Technologies have dedicated the better part of our free time to bringing you, the public, one of those technologies: the Irretrievable Backup Device!
The Irretrievable Backup Device has been used for decades by government officials to hide their unethical dealings, while the rest of us can be sent to jail for merely clearing our browser history!
Now, you can play their game! We have the technology that allowed Hillary Clinton to destroy an entire email server and excuse it as poor judgment. While it's possible her money and connections may have helped, those are things you can't buy from us. We have the Irretrievable Backup Device, and we're willing to sell it to you!
Because of the sensitivity of this technology, we are not able to outsource the devices for mass manufacturing. Each Irretrievable Backup Device is hand crafted in our secret laboratory to meet Energy Spur certification, packaged in a Stealth Case, plus detailed Operating Instructions, and delivered to you by an independent agency of the United States federal government.